I was on my way to an end of summer party with the church youth group when I got a phone call.
It was my dad's girlfriend. She wondered if I had heard from my dad. The last time I had spoken with him was only a few days ago. I called him up to tell him that I had forgiven him for all the drugs that he had taken, the divorce he went through with mom, and that I loved him.
That phone call turned out to be too emotionally charged for him. He turned to drugs once again and went on another drug binge. No one could find him. She blamed me for his disappearance.
I turned around from the party and went to my friend's house where I had a fatherlike figure who I turned to. No kid should have to make a missing person's report for their own dad. He helped me make that call.
At the end of it, he turned to me and said, "Lead your father. Show him the way."
That stuck with me ever since.
Show him the way.
That was my cue.
The passing of a baton of leadership.
It was the acknowledgement that this whole situation was messed up, but I did not have to get caught up in the pattern of addiction. I could be different.
In fact, I had the power to change my family's legacy.
Do you have a parent or spouse who struggles with substance abuse?
Do you have a father who you feel you have to parent?
Don't get caught up in the generational trauma.
Show him the way.
Don't get swept away by the cycles of addiction.
Show him the way.
Create your life and new legacy for your family.
Show him the way.
If you are like me and need help breaking generational cycles of trauma, and addiction check out these steps and strategies:
Education and Awareness: Educate yourself and your family about the cycle of trauma and addiction. Understand how it has affected past generations and how it might continue if not addressed.
Seek Professional Help: Reach out to therapists, counselors, or support groups. They can provide guidance, tools, and coping mechanisms for dealing with trauma and addiction.
Open Communication: Create a safe and open environment for family members to talk about their experiences, feelings, and struggles. Encourage honest conversations without judgment.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear and healthy boundaries with family members who may be actively struggling with addiction or perpetuating trauma. This is crucial for your own well-being.
Therapy and Counseling: Consider family therapy or counseling. This can help address deep-seated issues and provide a space for healing and understanding.
Self-Care: Practice self-care regularly. This includes activities that promote physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It's not selfish; it's necessary for your own health.
Break the Silence: Encourage family members to talk openly about their experiences. Breaking the silence around trauma and addiction is a crucial step towards healing.
Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Teach and practice healthy coping mechanisms like mindfulness, exercise, creative expression, or relaxation techniques.
Seek Positive Role Models: Surround yourself with positive influences, mentors, or role models who can provide support and guidance.
Intergenerational Healing Rituals: Create healing rituals or traditions within your family that emphasize growth, resilience, and mutual support.
Professional Treatment for Addiction: If someone in the family is struggling with addiction, seeking professional treatment, such as therapy, counseling, or rehab programs, is essential.
Break the Cycle through Example: Live your life in a way that demonstrates healthy, positive behavior. Show your family members that change is possible.
Remember, breaking generational cycles takes time, patience, and persistence. It's a journey, and progress may be slow. Celebrate small victories and seek support when needed.
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